April 6, 2012 0

Crashing halts and it’s all my fault?

By in Health, Stress, Work

If anyone has had an anxiety attack, you’ll know what I am feeling like at the moment. An anxiety attack is the most debilitating and scariest things you can ever experience. You don’t fall into unconsciousness when it happens, you are fully aware of what is happening and how difficult it is to grasp the next bit of air.

Now, when you are in your daily 9 – 5, you need to have your shit together. Having a meltdown at work is a social no-no, you are forever labeled as weak and fragile. My position at work is rather demanding with a few responsibilities I constantly have to keep an eye on. I got a bit flustered today and when someone verbally attacked me today, it triggered a whole new level of emotions that I was trying to suppress.

All my colleagues were really supportive of my episode but none of my bosses suspected anything. How is it that not one of them paid attention to how their employee’s status was? It got me thinking about how often do employers actually care or pay attention to their employees.

I watched a movie called ‘Contagion’ last night. It was amazing to see the lengths some employers go to for their employee’s well-being. Yet, some simply just don’t care. I wonder what the world would be like if all employers were that attentive. However, life isn’t like that – I have to balance shit working conditions with big chocolate baskets for Easter. What do we do?

March 18, 2012 0

And on with the world…

By in Food, Health

Anxiety levels: 8

I’ve been lamenting over whether I should put my thoughts into writing and having to deal with them at the same time or to bury my head in the sand.

Life is stressful. To even choose a breakfast cereal is hard. I’ve been experimenting lately with breakfasts, cooking them, not cooking them, buy them and assembling them. It was only about 10 years ago I found out I had a nut allergy. I still remember the time when I sat in the pathology lab and had an allergy test. Just imagine two dozen needles poking you on the tender part of your arm and then later on the burning itching sensation arrives.

Since then I’ve still been eating nuts, not as much as I used to obviously, though I still find it hard to walk past a jar of peanut butter and not  eat a small teaspoon of it. Most of the time, if not always, I regret it later. I think it’s a bit like giving birth, you forget the pain you have to go through to indulge in the happiness.

Strolling up and down the aisles of the supermarket, looking at anything and everything (not that everyone has time to do such a thing – I was depressed and ironically find supermarkets calming). I wander past the “organic” food section where I think most of the food is just overpriced re-branded and re-packaged “normal” food and something has caught my eye. Nut free, wheat free, dairy free, berry & vanilla oat clusters! I thought my problem had been solved. Then I discovered a whole range of these products that offered the similar benefits. Which got me thinking, what are they actually taking out and what are they putting in instead?

Despite all my second guessing, I bought the nut-free cereal. Sucked into marketing And so far I haven’t had any problems. I’ll tell you how many preservatives I’ve consumed when you can dig up my body intact 100 years from now.

It’s amazing how we would believe wholeheartedly someone selling us something that would benefit us. They’re good aren’t they?